I had one of those days where I am confused and become introspective on life. There are times when I am back in Alexandria that I feel out of sync and not sure what I am doing. I have a feeling of being lost.

When this happens, I become unfocused and cannot figure out what to do with myself. The part that interests me is that I do not usually have those thoughts or feelings in Toulouse.

It is not like I am not occupied (or could be occupied) during the day. I just lose the focus and end up not doing things or do not feel fulfilled in doing them.

I got up and did laundry which would be similar to my same activity in Toulouse. The difference is I have a dryer here so I do not have to air dry all my clothes. I had breakfast – mostly the same as in Toulouse. I had fresh strawberries from the farmer’s market. These strawberries were particularly good – they are very small with intense flavor.

After doing the chores – I do not clean the apartment the same was as I have a cleaning service that cleans my apartment in Alexandria. I do straighten up every day. I fixed lunch – again eating the food that I have missed while I am in Toulouse.

In the afternoon, I went over to Tom and Marion’s. They have been helping me put bandages on my back after my dermatologist visit. We visited for a while. Tom offered me a beer and I took him up on it. We spent time chatting with Nana. She was pretty engaged today but most of the conversation revolved around old memories and not current activities. I feel for Tom (and Marion) as they have to listen to the same stories over and over again. I am not sure why but neither of my parents got to the point where they were focused on the old days. They mainly talked about things that were happening at Fleet Landing (the retirement home where they lived). Those places are always a hotbed of gossip and complaints.

Katrina called while I was there and we had a FaceTime call with her and her children. It was fun to catch up with them and see the kids that I do not see often.

I drove home. I took the back way as the Beltway, the most direct route, was backed up as it was rush hour by the time I returned home.

I fixed my dinner. It did not take much time as I had prepared most of it earlier – gazpacho and curry chicken salad.

When I finished it was only around 8:00 pm. It was a beautiful evening so I decided to go for a walk and find someplace to have a beverage. This is something I would have no trouble doing in Toulouse. Just heading out and going to La Reserve for an Aperol Spritz. Or go to the Pêcheurs de Sable. I am not sure why it does not feel the same way in Alexandria but it does.

I walked down to the Potomac and watched the sunset – slightly different as I live on the west bank of the Potomac so the sunset is not as visible but I could see the sun reflecting on the Gaylord. The weather was perfect for the walk.

I ended up having a drink at the Bar on the Pier – it was a new place for me. It is part of the Providence tall ship museum on the river. Not an ideal place for a drink as the options were not great but it is right on the river and the night was beautiful. There are not a lot of options for just a drink on the river. There are some restaurants but not really a sit by yourself and have a drink options.

On thinking about all of this, I am not sure if the difference with how I feel about doing things by myself here in Alexandria is that I have friends here so I feel I should have people to do things with while in Toulouse, I do not expect to have people to do things with. My friends in Toulouse are either runners who I see at the runs or people who work in restaurants and I see them when I eat. I need to figure out what causes the angst and stasis here.